If you've never experienced the binky kiss, you're missing out. It is definitely one of my favorites.
In our house, binkies have several names- paci, bink, pinkman (related to color), binkman (for obvious reasons), Mr. Binkman (if I'm feeling goofy), and my mom's name for it: the plug. Whatever you call it, we don't leave home without it.
Little sister has been addicted to her pacifiers since day one at the hospital. This is new territory for us, since her big sis is a finger sucker. The baby may not have grown such a dependency on that tiny piece of silicone and plastic if she had been the first born. Once there were two little beings to take care of, I began to really appreciate the quiet moments and tried my best to keep the peace. Also, lil R.C. has quite a set of lungs on her. At four months of age, when most babies are just learning how to sleep through the night, mine all of a sudden stopped. The binky, it turns out, was not such a reliable friend to the baby when she was alone, sleeping in her crib. As each sleep cycle would come to an end, she would awaken just enough to realize she was no longer puffing on her bink. Then she would wake up and scream bloody murder. In a matter of days I was going from waking up once a night to waking up 10 times a night. This was not working for me. I turned to my trusty parenting support group- the Internet. I read and re-read a number of baby forums in search of the best way to help her fall asleep without the comforting sucking action of the plug. There was one family that found success by taking away the paci and replacing it with a small blanket for baby to clutch. Take away the paci?? If a little silicone nipple gave my baby enough comfort so that we could both sleep, who was I to take it away? She was so little, and looked so angry when she cried. When I was a baby it was called a security blanket. Did I really want to take away one dependency and replace it with another? In desperation, I gave it a try. We happened to have a little pink, flannel blankie that came packaged with a toy. She latched right onto it the first night and hasn't let go. (Well, except for the time I left it at home when we traveled to visit my Dad in CA, but that's a whole other post) Sometimes it has to be in the wash when she goes down for naps, and lucky for me she is pretty non-discriminating and will take a “dippy” (cloth diaper) in a pinch. When I come in to get her up from a long night's rest or her afternoon nap, the first thing she does is smile and bang her legs on the crib mattress. Then as she sees me reach to pick her up, she scrambles to grab her blankie, or Lovey, as I have affectionately named it. She holds it to her face for one last makeout session and sometimes it accompanies her to the changing table, but it never leaves her room. I think it is best if Lovey remains a crib comfort and not a drag-around-town sort of thing. Yesterday after R.C.'s nap I picked her up and changed her diaper before taking her downstairs. Here was an occasion where Lovey came with us for diaper duty. Afterward, I went and stood next to the crib and told her that it was time to put Lovey back into the crib for later. There was a long pause while she stared at me and I held my breath and waited. All of a sudden she tossed him right back into the crib. She's a certified genius!
Back to the binky kiss...
As most moms know, it is important to multi-task, or else you could spend your entire day running up and down the stairs moving things from point A to point B. That is why when I pick up the baby, I often have to put something in my pocket or clench it between my teeth. This morning when I went to take R.C. upstairs for her morning nap, I also wanted to scoop up a pile of folded laundry and of course...the binky. Now that she is older, I let her have the binky only for naps, never at night. (Yah, I was weak...but she loves that thing) I was holding it between my teeth by the plastic ring and one of my favorite exchanges came next- the binky kiss. This is when the baby leans over and takes the paci right out of my mouth with her puckered little lips. Today was different. After she had taken the binky and sucked on it for a few seconds, she popped it out and held it out to me. You want some binky, mama? What a sweetheart, already learning how to share at just 10 ½ months! I told her 'thank you' but that she could enjoy it instead. She promptly put it back in and began to puff away.
Binky, blankie, or the first two fingers on her right hand...whatever soothes away infant and toddler angst is OK in my book. I may be setting myself up for a bigger struggle later on when it is important for their development to stop these habits, but I think I have a few years before that happens. In the interim, I will continue to wash Lovey so he smells clean and fresh for naptime makeout sessions and I will continue to keep a mental map of the location of each of the baby's plugs, lest we find ourselves searching behind the crib at 6am on a Saturday morning just to keep the peace.
